Caring less in the right ways
On being in your 30s
I often heard about this magical thing that happens in your 30s. Elusively, people tell you that it’s wonderful, freeing, and real. It’s like a secret club that you get to enter into once you hit your third decade on earth.
They tell you that you will just start caring less.
I care way less about what people think about me. I don’t think about or judge others as harshly. I feel more relaxed in my body. I don’t spend hours thinking about something I said in the past (now, it’s just like 1 hour). Trends? Could not care less about what’s in or not. There’s a lot that used to take up so much brain space that now is barely a second glance.
But in other ways I care more. I care more about my energy. I care about who I am around and how they make me feel about the world. I care more about the ways I make others feel. I care about how my family and close friends learn about me. I care about how I make them feel. Showing up for my friends feels easier and like a more an imperative.
I think humans are wired to care. It’s what makes us connected. It’s what makes us get through hard times, it’s what makes us human.
I think what starts to happen in your 30s is that you know where the wiring is supposed to go. Being in your 20s means all the wires are always crossed. You are more worried about others and what they think and what they wear and what they have and what you don’t have and what. There’s always this underlying buzz of trying to anticipate what’s next and make sure you are a part of it. You are acutely aware of everything you aren’t invited to.
In your 30s, it’s like you begin to see everything more clearly. What doesn’t matter starts to melt away and what does matter shimmers. There’s no way to get everything right, but you also start to not care about that either. Failure isn’t necessarily desired, but it’s understood that it’s a completely normal and necessary part of life.
I can’t say for a fact that this is just being in your 30s, or aging, or maturing. I don’t know what it is. But I can say that it’s something that I hope keeps on happening.
Pinterest posts that resonated with this realization:
